Thursday, August 23, 2012

All About Chemistry

His name was Enzo. Or at least, that was what he told me. And for twelve hours, he was mine.

We met in a threesome; hours on hours of sex. Then the third guy had to leave early and we were left alone in the motel room. I was wary of him at first, aware that he was far more experienced at this than I was. I knew that he could effortlessly pull my strings with his charms. But I took a chance anyway. He was a challenge, a mystery that I wanted to figure out.

Our time in the motel room ran out and we had to leave. We were supposed to go our separate ways, until I happened to mention something that got us back in our groove: breakfast.

“I’m not wearing my contacts right now, okay? So help me with the menu,” I whispered to him as we approached the fastfood counter.

“Okay, what do you want?” he asked.

“Well, obviously I want you,” I answered. I turned to look at the cashier and saw that she was smiling. I asked, “Do you have anything that tastes as good as him?”

“Ang kulit mo!” Enzo laughed as he pretended to punch me.

We spent the next hour laughing at each other’s jokes, listening to each other’s stories and blushing at each other’s compliments. I learned that he used to be the manager of a high-end restaurant, that he lost almost everything he worked for after making some bad decisions, and that he was now doing his best to get back on his feet. He told me about how he lost all his friends when he was at his lowest, and about how he met a guy who stuck with him and helped him rise back up. I was listening to his every word, clinging to them like a child listening to a fairy tale.

When he suggested that we have a second round of our sexcapade, I readily agreed. We went to a different motel. We rented a room, dropped our bags and rested a bit. Then we went back out to buy some stuff that we needed.

“How much lube do we need?” he asked, crouching down to the bottom shelf with the condoms and lubes.

“I dunno. Eight? Just so we’re sure,” I answered, kneeling beside him and counting out the small blue packets.

Then he tugged at my sleeve and motioned around us. People were looking, of course, some out of disgust and others out of interest. We just laughed and went to get the other stuff we needed. Condoms, water, energy drinks, some biscuits – it was a strange grocery list.

We were on our way back to the motel when we passed by some street food. I slowed down and looked longingly at the kwek-kwek and isaw displayed on those shabby carts.

“Aw, gutom pa ang baby,” he laughed. Then he bought a couple of everything and we ate them all by the sidewalk. He looked really cute as he wolfed down his kwek-kwek and kikiam. I remembered when I saw him for the first time and thought that he was too high-end even for Jollibee. Apparently, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

We went back to our room and shared a few more kulitan moments as we showered and prepared our stuff. He gave me tips on what to do later, and on my trysts after ours. He’s a pro indeed, I realized, and I wondered if I could keep up with him.

Then we were back up in the clouds, soaring and piercing through the sky. I lusted for him like I have never lusted for any other man. His body fit perfectly with mine. He was my fantasy and he was all mine for the taking. Hours passed and yet we were still exploring, devouring each other’s bodies. We rose higher and higher until we reached the peak together.

We lay spent on the bed, hands held. I watched him as our breathing started to slow down. I got really lucky with this one, I thought to myself. Then all too soon, he pulled his hand from mine and started texting.

“Galit na siya sa akin. I have to leave soon,” he said.

“Your mom?” I asked.

“My boyfriend.”

His words pinched at my heart. Of course I knew that he was going home to someone else. I just didn’t think it would come crashing down that soon and that fast. I realized that at the back of my mind, I was wishing that he and I would have more breakfasts together, go to the grocery store with a list that didn’t include condoms and lubes, spend another afternoon being silly at the street food carts, and then go home at the end of the day with our hands held.

Ang tanga ko lang. I’m still just a rookie after all, and I made the mistake of trying to keep up with a pro. I should have known that at the end of the day, the only things I’ll be going home with are empty tubes and bruised arms.

Love, sex and relationships, they’re all about chemistry. A chemistry that is built up and nurtured over time has the capacity of sustaining a connection for a long time. But when it’s rushed and forced into you, it fades just as fast as it comes.

“Let’s go,” he said after we finished packing up. “Are you sure you’ll be alright? Can you go home alone?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I smiled.

“Okay. Til next time,” he said. He kissed me on the lips and then went out the door.


  1. So perhaps this was the reason why you were looking for an alcohol-spree the other day? Correct me if I'm wrong.

    This story is so prevalent these days. However, no matter how common this story is, it is just too heartbreaking, still. There are those who chase, those who take chances and escape for a little time, and the all too naive people whom they belong.

    Thinking about it, all of us do take chances. It is just up to us on how we take it, and on which side of the street we walk or end up to.

    I cannot say anything anymore, my heart bleeds along with yours

  2. Alam mo yung kanta ng Sugarfree na Mariposa? Bagay na bagay yung kantang iyon sa blog entry na ito! As in!

    Alam mo bang kanina pa ako magdamag nang nakatingin sa 'yo
    'Di mo lang alam, sa gitna ng kadilimang 'di mapakali, ako’y nabighani

    'Di mo lang alam, inaasam
    Ang panahong makapiling ka sa una't huling pagkakataon

    Dahil dito sa mariposa ay mahirap ang nag-iisa
    Dahil dito sa mariposa ako lang ata ang nag-iisa

    Nagsisising matatapos ang gabing alam naman nating meron nang taning
    Nagsisising gigising sa katotohanan 'di ka naman talaga akin

    Ayoko nang mag-isa.

  3. ... But when it’s rushed and forced into you, it fades just as fast as it comes. - this i understand.

  4. I hate it when this happens. I hate it because its like you are realizing that fairy tales do come true then all of a sudden it will just leaves you breathless.

  5. Now, now Japs just check the circumstances where you met the guy - an orgy - surely you should have known better...

    But feelings, as they say, have their way of making us oh-so-vulnerable.

  6. why not be a rookie all the way and steal the guy? life's unfair and we have to do something about it, dontcha think? so why don't you just do it?

  7. I feel your pain and yes such a hurry will fade fast. You need to learn to accept things right away. Things in reality that they are not meant for you. Cherish the moments na nakasama mo siya kahit sandali lang.

    I dont agree to what zordevan said. Yes SOMETIMES life is unfair but it doesnt mean that you have to do things wrongly just to cope up with it. Will that be good if you steal someone's lover? Paano kung ikaw ang nasa kalagayan na ikaw ang aagawan? Magiging masaya ka ba?

  8. I'm in the same boat as you are. Take courage. Good luck!

  9. Impressive chemistry, but it's difficult --- if not impossible --- to balance the chemical equation.

    Ryan See

  10. mega ouch!

    nakarelate ako, he's too good to be true nga usually sila yan may sabit, hehe

  11. Napaisip ako: Why the heck worry kung saan mo siya una nakilala? Or kung may sabit/karelasyon siya?

    Dahil alam naman nating lahat ang naramdaman mo. It is probably genuine and you know it made you happy. Feelings are feelings after all.

    Now, what's next? It's up to you. Because it is now time to go outside of your self. Diyan na papasok ang drama ng buhay, social prejudices, stereotypes, etc.

    Maybe "love" or "longing" or "attachment" is boundless? Or it can sacrifice itself as well? Self-destruct? And then you move on?

    But it is up to you. Ask the right questions, malay mo, you'll get the right answers. Or the painful ones.. Then move on. You give it try at least.

  12. Ngayon ko lng nabasa tong post more pre. Ganitong story ang mga gusto ko, POIGNANT sabi nga ni Red.

    mas PILYO ka sakin. Di ko trip ang mga Pro. Ang trip ko ay mga first-timer. lol. 8 lubes. AWARD!

  13. Uhhhhh... wehehehe... Yun lang masasabi ko...

  14. i'm just disgusted sayo nishi. threesome? seriously???? You deserved that heartachei must say