Sunday, December 15, 2013

Drunk Convos: Inconsequential

At last night's inuman:

Friend 1: Man, Z is really cute.

Nishi: Yeah, I'm totally crushing on him too. That smile...

Friend 1: And those eyes...

Friend 2: He has a boyfriend though

Friend 1: So?

Friend 2: So he's not on the menu

Friend 1: Nah, that doesn't follow.

Nishi: Yeah, boyfriends are inconsequential

Friend 1: Exactly.

Friend 2: *laughs*

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Top 10: Strange Sex Talk

I’m taking a break from all the emoness. It’s time to let loose and post something a bit more fun. Hehehe

We’ve all said and heard our share of strange interjections during sex. Caught in the moment, sometimes words just pop into our head and it just feels so right to let them out. Those words can further ignite the flames of passion and send you rolling in frenzy.  But sometimes they’re just mood-killers, and you can’t help but pause and wonder, “What the fuck did I just hear?”

Top Ten Strangest Things Said To Me During Sex

(With an ex, while he was getting ready to go down on me) Friendly sex lang to ha? Nothing more.

(Whispering in my ear while I was fucking him)Wag ka tumingin sa pinto. Nakasilip partner ko, nanonood. Tuloy mo lang.

Him: Fuck kita.
Me: Ayoko.
Him: Sige na.
Me: Ayoko talaga.
Him: Sige fuck mo ako.

(Was giving him a handjob when he suddenly flips over and starts humping my hand) Shit pare ang sarap kantutin ng kamay mo! Parang puke!

(In a motel room during foreplay) Baby, buksan natin yun pinto. Pag may nakakita pasalihin natin.

(Greyhound by Swedish House Mafia suddenly plays in the background) Tangina ganda ng music! Tara, suck kita habang sumasayaw ako.

Kantutin moko tol! Gawin mokong babae!

Him: Sampalin moko.
Me: Ha?
Him: Tangina mo sampalin moko!

(While I was taking a yosi break from a threesome) Nishi, pasok ka sa kwarto, patigasin mo si Eric. Gusto ko magpa-fuck sa kanya.

I love you! PUTANGINA PARE I LOVE YOU!!! Teka, okay lang ba sayong sinasabihan ng ‘I love you’?


Monday, August 19, 2013

The Love Yourself Project Is Recruiting!

The Love Yourself Project is looking for new talents to join us in our fight against the spread of HIV. 

To sign up, CLICK HERE.  

Here is the POST taken from our site:

So, you know you’ve got talent and mad skills, but you want to do more than just your 8-to-5. Maybe there are all these creative ideas that you've been dying to unleash. Or maybe you’ve just got all this love inside of you that you want to share, but you don’t know where, or how, or whom to.

Find your impetus. LoveYourself is always looking for committed volunteers who believe in our vision of a self-loving, healthy, and HIV/STI-free Philippines, and who have the time, energy, and team spirit to make a difference in our community.


Software engineers / programmers. Technology is the tool that enables us to touch thousands of MSMs everywhere. And everyday, we're working on cutting-edge projects that can revolutionize the advocacy. If you’ve got IT chops, we want you! 
Visual artists / graphic designers. We make things look sexy. If you’ve got an eye for layouts and you rock at Photoshop, you’ll definitely want to join us. Get your best creative work out there and make a difference!

Events are our way of physically engaging and inviting people into our advocacy.
No hard and fast skills required here: we just need fun and energetic people who enjoy conceptualizing and organizing events. It’d be neat if you’ve had experience leading in promotions, sponsorships, visual design, or logistics, but it’s no biggie if you don’t. Just be dynamic, personable, and cooperative (and hopefully able-bodied!), and we’ll take care of the rest.

Research and evaluation is how we examine and improve the way we do things. 
Writers and researchers. Being part of the Research and Evaluation Board (REB) will give you the opportunity to directly shape the way we, as an organization, deliver to the thousands of MSMs who seek our services. You will also have the chance to lead in discovering and articulating the things about our clients that we need to know to help us reach and serve them better.

Counseling and Education is at the heart of what we do. 
If you didn’t exactly see yourself in the previous three, but you believe you have the empathy, open-mindedness, and people skills to show our community some real love, then be trained to be an HIV counselor and educator, directly contributing to the organization's key objective: HIV awareness, education, counseling and testing

Discover what we do (along with other cool, important stuff about us) here.

An "impetus" is something that incites a stimulus. If you've read this far, you've probably been looking for an impetus yourself: a cause that has meaning, a space for your ideas to play, a community where you belong.

LoveYourself offers an opportunity to be part of a worthwhile movement, where volunteers unite their diverse talents behind the purpose of promoting HIV awareness, counseling and education. It’s no secret that we're growing— with more and more people starting to love themselves, we’re putting up a new community center to meet the skyrocketing demand for our HIV testing and counseling services. As we scale up to take on the country’s burgeoning HIV epidemic, we need an army of Lovers—our name for committed, talented people like yourself—who find meaning in what we do, and can help us make a difference.

Sign up to volunteer on our website: Our next batch of volunteers will be invited to the Orientation event on August 31, 2013 (we recommend you block of this date as early as now).

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Worth The Risk

Hey E.

We’ve been dating for a while now. Was it on our third month when I told you that I’ve already fallen in love with you? Well, I didn’t really “fall in love” with you, it was more that I chose to love you. My heart has been wounded too many times already for it to just fall for someone. I’ve long dismissed the fairy-tales and rainbows kind of love. I’ve decided to see love as a decision. Feelings change and even fade; they make a weak foundation to build love on.  A decision, on the other hand, will hold for as long as you choose to stick to it.

And so it was that I chose to keep my eyes only on you. I decided not to date anyone else. I reserved my weekends for you, spent my nights in your place, I was always there when you wanted me by your side. Those were things I chose to do because I have already decided to love you.

But after all my talk about not being capable of falling in love, of not wanting to fall in love, I still found myself falling for you.

The things that I used to choose to do, I started doing because I was already incapable of doing otherwise. I could no longer let a day pass without me telling you that I loved you. I found it hard to sleep without you in my arms.

I was sure that you were the one I wanted to be with. Sadly, you could never seem to bring yourself to be sure about me.

I know that you want to be with me. I can feel it from the way you take care of me and the way that you keep on holding on to me somehow. But you have always held me at an arm’s length, just close enough to be within reach, but still at a distance. You keep asking all these questions; questions that no matter how hard I tried to answer, you are always still unconvinced.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I don’t know how much longer I can keep on choosing to love you. To be honest, I have started seeing someone else. He and I have only gone out a few times, but I can’t help but feel that the likelihood of him giving me a chance is more than I should hope for from you.  You and I have been together much longer, but honestly, where we are now doesn’t feel that far from where we started. And I don’t know how much longer I can keep lingering in that place. I can't keep trying to prove my worth.

I know you’re worth the wait. You really are. But I also think that I am worth the risk, what we have is worth the risk. I just wish you could see that too.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

BETTER TOGETHER: Mass Yoga for the 30th AIDS Candlelight Memorial

Guys, if you're free this Sunday, perhaps you'd like to do Yoga for a cause. I've never done Yoga before, but I'll try it out this time, in support of our friends who are living with HIV.

Among the instructors will be Donna Esteban, David Esteban and Rebecca de Villa. Some of us, lovers, from The Love Yourself Project will also be there to support the activity.

Let's meditate and help out the PLHIV community together.

Here's the post from Yoga For Life's Facebook event:

We are celebrating the 30th International AIDS Candlelight Memorial once more with a mass public yoga practice followed by a short Kirtan and candle lighting ceremony.

Calling the event, "Better Together", we aim to bring solidarity within the HIV advocacy community and also reinforce the beauty and transformative power of our yoga practice in helping groups and individuals affected by HIV and AIDS.

See you on May 26 (Sunday), 4pm, at the Charito Planas Gardens in Quezon Memorial Circle.

Registration Fee is Php 150. Proceeds will help support Yoga For Life's advocacy towards assisting more people affected by HIV/AIDS.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Pinoy Gay Blog List Update

Hello, loves.

I've updated the Pinoy Gay Blog List.

Inactive blogs have been removed. And there are new additions to the list.

If you want you blog to be added, just leave a comment with your URL. It's that easy. =) 

Also, if you know gay bloggers, you can invite them to comment. Let's spread the word! =)

Here are the latest additions to the list:

Kiss My Mike
A blog with a Gaysian flavor.
by: Mike

The Karug Gallery
The Philippines' first and only Gay Blog that exclusively features Hot Men with Sexy Happy Trail!
by: Olga Luxuria

Fabulous JV
A Fabulous Queen Who Wants To Wear McQueen
by: FabulousJV

Kuwentong Malilibog
m2m site and everything in between

Desert Boy
Ang Estranghero sa Gitnang Silangan
by: Cute Desert Boy

Piktiyur Op Da Dey
Ang mga litratong nakakalat
by: Cute Desert Boy

Blogging Positively
This is an advocacy blog which contains my personal journey in living with HIV, and news and updates regarding the disease. It also includes lists of hospitals and clinics where HIV testing is given free.
by: pinoypositive

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Nishiboy Is Once Again Dating

So there we were in his car, driving to Quiapo to buy some stuff, when he said, “You know, you’re the first guy I dated who’s more or less out.”

That statement caught me by surprise. No, it wasn’t because I thought I was discreet, but because I didn’t know that we were already under the “dating” status. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that he already considered us to be dating. I was just surprised because I thought he wasn’t ready for labels yet.

It’s always so tricky to figure out what exactly is going on between me and a guy I’m seeing. And I can’t help but try to figure it out because that information is necessary in setting expectations. A lot of people have told me many times that labels and expectations are not important, but if a guy can’t even tell me that he likes me or that he’s even remotely open to being in a relationship with me, then he’s wasting my time.

That’s exactly what happened between me and a guy I dated last year. Wait, I’m not even sure if we actually dated. Case in point, I tried to ask him if we were already dating after we went out a few times. He answered me with the usual “Why do we need to put a label?” So, predictably, I asked him what we should call the stage we were in. He answered “Call a dinner, a dinner and a movie, a movie. Why should we call them anything else?”

That hurt, big time. So I was the only one who considered those movies and dinners and drinking sessions to be special. It wasn’t his fault, I know. I was the one who made those assumptions. But on my part, I don’t need anyone to watch a movie or to go drinking, and if those were all he’s interested to share with me, then it’s a waste of time.

There was also this guy who wanted to be on a “non-exclusive dating” status with me. He told me he liked me a lot but also that he still wanted to meet new guys since he had just gotten out of a relationship. I was allowed to see other guys too, of course, but I wasn’t interested in doing that. I liked him a lot and I made it clear that if it were up to me, I’d want us to be exclusive. Still, we went on with the open setup.

The setup worked for a while, until the night of his birthday, when he told me that we were already exclusive. I was happy of course, more than I could possibly say. But the next day, he suddenly took it back. He said that he was just carried away by the moment and had the strong urge to do something good on his birthday.

Tangina lang, diba? Asshole. Charity case talaga ako? Ako?

Angry can’t even begin to describe how I felt at him. He made me expect and then he took it back. But I was way too much into him for me to stay mad for long. He flashed me puppy dog eyes and he hugged me back into submission. But I was already too confused with what to expect from him. Everything went downhill from there.

But the complications don’t end with knowing the stage. After establishing just where the relationship is, the terms must also be established. Is it open or exclusive? Is it a secret or not? Who will you tell? Who shouldn’t I tell?

I used to think that the clearing up the terms and conditions were not important, that we can figure them out by feel. Then I dated a closet case who didn’t even want to be seen in public with me. Naturally, I thought that he’d want to keep it a secret. Then a few weeks go by and he suddenly asks me, “Ikinakahiya mo ba ako? (Are you ashamed of me?)” Apparently, he wanted to meet my closest friends and he wanted to be introduced as my guy. As long as it’s in our closest circles, he wants us to be open about our relationship.

So let’s come back to the present so that the question can be asked:  what is the status of this thing that I have with this guy right now?

We’re dating, like what he said in the car, and the really good thing is he’s consistent about it. It’s such a breath of fresh air that I’m not just assuming. (LOL) As for the terms, I consult him before I do anything that concerns both of us. I don’t pester him with questions about him and me. Well, fine, I do, but not as much as I did with my past dates. With this guy, I’m adopting a little bit of both my “establish the rules” approach and the “go with the flow” approach.

So there you go. Nishiboy is once again dating. Let’s see if this one works.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Sebastian Castro on FLY Love Yourself

Sebastian Castro, star of the phenomenal YouTube hit “Bubble,” talks about HIV in The Love Yourself Project's new chic and cheeky instructional video entitled:

"FLY Love Yourself: How to Enjoy Sex and Avoid HIV."

Friday, April 26, 2013


Looking for something new to do on weekends this May?

Introducing TLY-OKE, Love Yourself's videoke nights on all Saturdays of May @ Fab Malate 9PM onwards.

Make new friends and enjoy great music with the LoveYourself community. Bring your friends. Spread the word.

P300 entrance fee inclusive of 2 drinks.

If you have questions, you can contact me at

See you guys there!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Discreet HIV Testing This April

Love Yourself Platinum

Discreet, by-appointment HIV testing.

April 19 & 26, 2013

Location is somewhere in Makati. Details will only be given to those who register.

To register, click HERE.

For more details, click HERE 


Monday, March 25, 2013

RITM Satellite Clinic: Holy Week Schedule

For holy week, RITM Satellite Clnic aka The LoveYourself Hub is closed from March 26 (Tuesday) to March 30 (Saturday).

Regular clinic schedule will resume on Easter Sunday (9 AM)

Announcement taken from the RITM Satellite Clinic Twitter account

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I Am Not In Love And It's Okay

I am not in love right now. And it’s okay.

I’ve always wondered why I seem to have a really rotten luck at love. It’s not that nobody comes along, as a matter of fact I can’t say that I’ve been completely single for longer than two weeks since I was twenty. That’s six years of going through the “meeting a guy – falling in love – him or me or both of us falling out of love – breaking up – getting depressed – moving on – and meeting another guy” cycle over and over and over again. It used to be somewhat fun, when I was still the wide-eyed boy eager to relish love’s every taste, but now it has become exhausting. I can’t keep on having three-week relationships. It’s just not good for the heart.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why my relationships always seemed to fail right from the early stages. Eventually, it became apparent that my relationships were divided into three cases: one is where the other guy is not as invested as I am, one is where the other guy wants to invest but is reluctant to do so, and the last is where the other guy likes me just as much or even more than I like him.

Whenever I meet someone who seems promising, I always get inexplicably drawn to him. This is normal, I suppose, if I were thirteen and had pigtails. Yes, that’s the kind of infatuation that I feel. I completely obsess over the guy and it becomes my sole purpose for existence to catch his attention and impress him.

Things would be simple if he doesn’t respond to my advances. When that happens, I take the hint and back off. The trouble starts when I sense that the waters flow in my favor, because that’s when I start to expect. I take my courtship rituals to an even higher level, making it clear that I want to be his boyfriend and that I want to be the only one whom he will consider.

At this point, it becomes apparent that I am already an easy catch. For some guys, this appears as a huge flaw. For some reason, there are guys who get drawn to me because they saw me as this exciting boy who likes to collect toys. However, the moment they see that I am, in fact, after something a lot more long-term, they lose interest. This frustrates me and I try to prove to the guy that I am every bit the catch that he first saw me to be, but that just turns him off even more.

For other guys, my hopeless romantic tendencies would have been seen as an asset, but they cannot bring themselves to believe it. This is especially true when I date older guys. They think that since I am still young, I am bound to play around. This frustrates me just as much as the first kind, sometimes even more. I find it unfair to not be given a chance because of some random assessment they made on me.

Then there are those guys who are just as eager as I am to be in a relationship. When I meet this sort of guy, a committed relationship always happens, and we happily frolic in our love. That is, until I start seeing flaws in the guy and I ask myself if I had jumped into a relationship too soon, yet again. Then I start to think that maybe those people who called me a player were right all along.

As you can see, I am clearly conflicted when it comes to relationships, and I have come to the point where I have decided to accept that I am not yet ready for it. I’ve been chasing after love for too long already and I had let my life get shaped around my obsession with love too many times. Sure, love is indeed a beautiful thing, but there are too many beautiful things in life to be eclipsed solely by love.

That’s not to say that I’m giving up on love. No, that would be too melodramatic, even for me. I’m saying that I think I’ve been courting love the wrong way. In all my conquests, I’ve been following two fallacies: that I need love and that I have the right to be loved. Believing that I needed love has led me to chase everything that remotely resembled it. Believing that I had the right to be loved has given me unbearable pain whenever the love I gave was not given back. From now on, I will see love as a gift. Gifts are not something that you need to live, neither are they something that you can demand for.

I am not in love right now, but it’s okay. I’ll focus on all the other beautiful things in life. But if love does come for me again when I am ready, I will be grateful and I will appreciate it for what it is and for as long as I have it.

Monday, February 11, 2013

I Did See The Good Things

You said that I only saw the negative in what you and I had. That’s not true.

I love how you insist that the food court is your favorite food option in the mall just so you can claim that you’re not high-maintenance, even though you didn’t even have an idea at first where it was.

You are one of the very few people who can put up with me when I’m shopping. Heck, even my mom loses her patience with me.

I love how your default voice and speaking pattern is very baby-talk-ish. I am really a sucker for that.

I really appreciate how you took care of me when I was sick. You came for me even though you were not supposed to be with me that night. That was when I started falling for you.

You are really, really, really cute. I’ve had a crush on you since the day I first saw you. That hasn’t changed one bit.

You are always level-headed and can always pacify me when I’m angry. I’m sorry, though, because I should have worked on that more. You got more blows than you can take.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t more appreciative of your effort to clean my dumpster of a unit. I’m really sorry. Thank you for doing that. I saw how concerned you were for me.

I always long for your hugs and your kisses. That’s why I always want you to stay in my place, just so I could fall asleep with you in my arms, and then wake up to your kisses the next morning.

I didn’t tell you these things because then I’ll be admitting how crazy I am for you, and I know that you’re not yet ready to commit. You are a really great guy. And I was just so frustrated that you were not mine.

I just didn’t want to dwell on the good things too much, because if I did, and you decide that I’m not the guy you want, then I’d be left in an even more pathetic state.

But I did see them, the good things we had and those we could have had.

I wish you could have given us a chance. And I wish I could have been more patient.  And I just really wish you were mine.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

RITM Satellite Clinic's New Schedule

Clinic Opens
HIV Screening Cut-off
Clinic Closes
11:00 am
5:30 pm
7:00 pm
11:00 am
5:30 pm
7:00 pm
11:00 am
5:30 pm
7:00 pm
11:00 am
5:30 pm
7:00 pm
8:00 am
2:00 pm
4:00 pm