Friday, July 20, 2012

Orgy Thoughts

For me, the most interesting part of an orgy is the meet-up, when I get to see the guys while they still have their clothes on.

There are five of us and we are waiting for one more. The meeting place is the sidewalk of a street bustling with life from the evening rush hour. Everyone is either texting or fiddling with their phones or otherwise trying to look occupied, but they are all stealing glances at the others.

I couldn't help grinning. This is the part where we size each other up, guess which ones are tops, which ones are bottoms, and which tops will end up being bottoms. The guys start selecting their targets, the ones they'd really like to fuck or get fucked by.

I look around and survey the others.

First guy is John. He is well-built and has a bad boy aura about him. He is leaning on his motorcycle, busily texting someone. He tells us after a while that it's his girlfriend that he's texting, that they had a big fight and that he's joining in to let out his steam. Obviously, he's looking to play top tonight. He'll probably just lie down and expect everyone else to pleasure him, banking on his supposed masculinity. I don't think he and I will be having much interaction.

Standing a few feet away are two small guys, Jeff and Marky. They've been talking to each other the whole time, so they probably know each other already. Every now and then they whisper and laugh, then look around like they've been caught. Then Jeff would glance at John and Marky would try to catch my eye. Power bottoms, I'd say, and they've already chosen their targets. They'll most likely pounce on us the first chance they get.

Then there's EJ, tall and lanky, with a smile built for toothpaste commercials. He's wearing a long-sleeved shirt, but it's easy to see that he has just the right muscle definition to my liking. He shifts from one leg to the other, and in that simple movement displays a tamed grace that draws me. Too bad, he looks like a top. I would love to fuck him.

After a while, the last one arrives. His name is Dexter. He looks straight but you can just tell right away that he isn't. Everything about him screams bottom. He's cute but he has an air of arrogance about him, and I'm not really in the mood to deal with misplaced arrogance tonight. I make a mental note to stay away from him.

Dexter goes into a motel, books a room and texts us all the room number. One by one, we follow, everyone emphasizing that we should leave at least five-minute intervals between us. I arrive last. Then everyone starts stripping. It's about to start.

Marky is on me even before I finish taking off my pants. He sucks well. I look around and see that Jeff has already started working on John. John was lying down, hands under his head, while his body was being caressed and licked all over by Jeff.

So I got John, Jeff and Marky right.

I hear a deep moan and turn to look. It was EJ, on all fours, his face ecstatic as he was being fucked by Dexter. Dexter picks up his pace and EJ moans harder. I did not expect this at all. The apparent bottom is fucking the apparent top. I am still trying to get over my slight shock when Dexter flips EJ over and drills hard, and the room is filled with EJ's delirious moans.

This has instant an effect on all of us. Within seconds, what little clothing we still have on are thrown to the floor. I see Marky's dick for the first time. It's huge. I couldn't resist. I make him stand up and take my turn at sucking him.

I feel someone's mouth on me. It was Jeff's. I turn to find John and see him trying to jack off. Apparently, he can't get his dick hard. He mumbles something about fucking his girlfriend before coming to the orgy, which is why he can't get it up. I tell Jeff and Marky to work on John together while I watch. Then John pulls me in and makes me face-fuck him.

I pull away and move towards Dexter and EJ, who are now on what seems to be their tenth position already. I stand up and hold my dick to Dexter's mouth but he just smiles and shakes his head. I move in front of EJ instead, and he readily takes me in his mouth. His tongue flicks and twirls like wildfire as Dexter thrusts deep into him. He is in a frenzy.

Dexter pulls out and motions me to take over. EJ looks at me with hungry, almost pleading eyes. I go behind him and ram him hard and deep. He cries out and begs for more and I give it to him. I hear someone else moaning and see that Dexter has already started fucking Marky. I watch him and wow, that guy really knows what he's doing.

On the edge of the bed, I see Jeff on his back while John sucks him off. Apparently, John has already given up trying to get himself hard. That's probably wisest, since he has already spent too long on his failed attempts.

A few more positions and swaps and we're all done. We say goodbye and leave the room one by one. It was an interesting group. A lot of my guesses were incorrect. It just reinforces my claim that I'm still inexperienced at this. Or maybe it just means that I'm really bad at reading people. Oh well, I'll just see next time.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Sharing My Guy

I don't like sharing my guy. That's the reason why I've never been a fan of open relationships or even casual dating. I make sure that I have my guy locked down. Or so I used to. These past few months, I've been having a bit of a paradigm shift.

It started when I dated Kent, a guy who part-timed as a masseur. When we got to the point where we were already discussing the details of a possible relationship, I asked it to be open, more for the heck of it really than anything else. I've never tried an open relationship before and, given Kent's line of work, I was pretty sure he'd agree, and he did.

The relationship felt a bit strange to me. We were a couple and yet there he was, sleeping with other guys for money, and there I was, sleeping with other guys for fun. At the start, I felt a tiny bite of jealousy every time he told me that he was off to service a client, but I started to get used to it as the weeks passed.

So this is what it feels like to share your guy with others, I thought.

It wasn't that bad after all. That thing that I used to hear from other people about being confident that your guy will go home to you at the end of the day, I began to understand it. I was sure that Kent was still mine no matter how many “extra service” sessions he gave, and that was enough assurance for me. That was probably how Kent felt too, at least until I started showing signs of disinterest.

The sharing thing turned out to be more difficult when I experienced being the other guy. This happened when I started seeing Adam, who has a boyfriend of seven or eight years. I knew that there was no hope of me ever gaining enough worth to beat those years, but I jumped into the pseudo-relationship anyway.

My relationship with Adam was the opposite of what I had with Kent. This time, I knew that after every movie and dinner date, every night we spent cradled in each other's arms, every goodbye kiss after a great conversation over drinks, he would still go home to his partner.

In spite of my full understanding of our setup, however, there were still moments when I started to demand more. I remember walking out on him once, drunk and pissed off, when he said that he wouldn't leave his partner for me. As I scrambled into a taxi, he texted me that I was being unfair, that I knew perfectly well the limits of our relationship even before we decided to have it. Of course, I didn't have enough mental coherence to read it right then, but I realized that he was right the next morning. He was my guy, yes, but only for as long as he was at my side. Asking more that what he could offer was indeed unfair. Since then, I demanded only for my share, enjoyed it, and then stood by for my next turn.

It was during one of those standby-for-Adam periods that I met Brad. We met and went out for drinks, spent the next few hours downing bottle after bottle of beer, laughing and teasing, and stole a minute-long kiss before leaving. He was cute and he definitely knew how to work his charm. Apparently, my charm worked on him too because we continued going out after that.

There's one reason Brad and I aren't an official couple: we're both not ready yet. That's to say we're both still messing with other guys. There's one other guy he's dating concurrently with me. And I still can't let go of Adam completely. That's on top of each other's random hookups. We like each other a lot, but I know that jumping into a relationship right now would only screw us both. I know he does too.

I still find it strange. Just months ago, I probably couldn't even imagine myself sharing my guy, yet here I am now, even looking for someone to join us in a three-way. But I enjoy what Brad and I have right now: dates whenever our schedules allow, sweet messages in text or BBM, phone calls when one misses the other, and the occasional but nevertheless amazing sex. He could be having those with other guys too, but I don't mind. I should, but I don't. Maybe it's best to stop over-analyzing this and just go be happy with it.