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Friday, July 1, 2016

Nishiboy Is (probably) Back

It’s been a while since I last posted something substantial here. Ironically, it’s not from a lack of things to write. A lot of notable things have happened to me in the past year, I just don’t really know how and where to start.

2015 was an extremely challenging year for me. In bullet points, these were the biggest things I had to deal with:

·         I went through a terrible breakup. It happened just a couple of weeks before our supposed first anniversary
·         I got physically, mentally and emotionally burned out from work. Too many challenges but not enough rewards
·         I became financially unstable due to some very unfortunate circumstances at work.
·         My father, whom I had not spoken to for five years, went into a coma and then died after two weeks
·         I became clinically depressed. I spent a few months just holed up at home, cut off from work, family and most of my friends


But there were also a few small wins:

·         I wrote something and submitted it in an online column and it was published. That was my first time to be published anywhere
·         I finally got around to taking voice lessons; something I’ve been wanting to do for years
·         I had the courage this year to seek professional help for my depression and was slowly able to overcome it


Most of all, I can say with full confidence that those ordeals have made me a better person than I was before any of it happened. I’m still on the road back to recovering fully from my depression, and I’m still in the process of getting my life back together, but the good thing is that I am already on my way.

And as part of that road to full recovery and full getting-life-back-together, I might go back to blogging. I’ve always found writing to be cathartic and helpful in putting my thoughts into perspective.


So stick around, folks. Nishiboy is (probably) back. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

EVENT: Soiree for Singles this February for a CAUSE.

 
CHERRY POPPIN’: A Singles Soiree for a Cause
 
 
WHAT: Cherry Poppin': A Soiree for Singles
WHEN: February 21, 2015 at 5pm onwards
WHERE: Rooftop area of West of Ayala Bldg., 252 Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue, Makati City
 
 
 


Singles, like romantic couples, have as much to celebrate this February!

Come and join the Loveyourself’s CHERRY POPPIN' Singles Soiree on February 21, 2015 to meet and mingle with other strapping gay guys, share engaging dating storiesand dance to the hypnotic beats of Boys Can Trance.

You also have a chance to snag a date at our luscious charity auction featuring sweet and sexy guys that just might be worthy of your cherry lips.

But this post-Valentine poolside party is open to all - single guys and girls, couples, and all those fuzzy shades in between!

Tickets are sold for only PhP250.00 inclusive of a free drink. Tickets are limited, so inquire now at 09063228873 or sign up at http://go.loveyourself.ph/CherryTickets before it’s party time. The event starts at 5:00 pm till midnight at the rooftop area of West of Ayala Bldg., 252 Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue, Makati City.

***Ticket sales and auction proceeds will help raise funds for the benefit of LoveYourself, an advocacy dedicated to HIV testing and awareness.

Casual Convos
Looking for a post-Valentine’s pick me up? CHERRY POPPIN’ Singles Soiree kicks off with casual conversations on singlehood and dating. Chat the afternoon away in carefree café-style sessions on finding yourself, finding love, dating and courtship and being in a relationship. Know more about yourself and that cute guy across you!

Date Auction
Then the night heats up with a fun date auction. Get a chance to go out on a date with our featured hot guys. Take your pick from a handsome indie film actor, a sexy accountant, a hunky banker, a buff BPO guy, and a boy-next-door entrepreneur. These men will surely stimulate your mind and mesmerize your heart on a fancy dinner—just the two of you.

We also have mystery auctions that will make your heart flutter when they are revealed and put up for bidding at the event itself.

Winning bidders will get an all-expense paid dinner date for 2 and a couple’s massage session. These are made possible with the help of our sponsors: Aesthetic Science, Bliss Pleasure Enhancing Lubricants, The Sanctuary, and The Pulse.

Poolside Party
Throughout the CHERRY POPPIN’ Singles Soiree, the Boys Can Trance takes the temperature higher with sick beats and lively music. Feel free to dance with your gang, new found friends or that handsome stranger you’ve been eyeing.

See you!
 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Figuring Out The Balance

A friend of mine said that he can’t seem to find any decent guy. Everyone is just after him for sex, he said, and no one wants to date him. I asked him to tell me about the last time someone wanted him only for sex. Apparently, it started out with a Planet Romeo chat. They agreed to meet for sex. Somewhere in the meetup, they had a bit of small talk, and the guy seemed to be decent enough in that conversation. The problem was, after the guy left, the messages stopped and the invite for a follow-through never came.

I pointed out to him that the initial contract was for sex. He himself only wanted sex to begin with. Sure, an “open for anything” clause was thrown in, but a second meetup, much less a date, was not something they agreed on. It wasn’t even something my friend expressed interest in. Because of this, it wouldn’t be accurate to label the guy as “not decent”.

After I said that, he said that I was probably right, and that he probably did not deserve being taken seriously. He said that it was probably his karma, since there have been many times when he left others hanging. And then he said he was weak for letting it get to him.

I don’t think it’s a weakness to hope for something more. As far-fetched as it sounds, it’s possible for long-term relationships to start from a hookup. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone you had sex with, especially if you had good sex and if, from the small talk, you found that you can also have good conversation. It is okay to hope, but we also have to be steady in how we handle it if it doesn’t develop the way we hoped it would.

In situations like this, I think the tricky part is figuring out where we went wrong and where the other person went wrong. For instance, their mistake could be that they were unable to appreciate you or the potential of the connection you had. On the other hand, our mistake could be that we imposed our ideals on them and thus expected them to want the same things as us. Or even simpler, our mistake could be that we assumed they would like us in return.

It would be so easy to blame it all on them and just say that they were not decent enough for a relationship. Likewise, it would also be easy to just blame ourselves and say that we deserved it. It would take incredible self-awareness to realize that line between what we can attribute to them and what we need to own up to. But I think it’s something that we need to do. This doesn’t just happen in the hookup stage, either. It can still be a hurdle for those who are years down the relationship road.

If we place the entire fault on them, we would be denying ourselves the opportunity to learn and be better men. On the other hand, if we blame it all on ourselves, we will not have the confidence to feel worthy of being loved.

I think this balance is something that we are all trying to achieve. I myself am all too familiar with this dilemma. That is why I’m writing this here in my blog. The next time I come to a situation like this, hopefully, this post can remind me to love myself and believe in myself enough to trust that I did something right, but also to be humble enough to recognize my mistakes.