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Monday, December 3, 2012

Top 10: Ways To Compensate


The world of PLUs is pretty vicious to the unbeautiful, particularly to those who want to get laid as often as the more gifted ones. Of course, when it comes to sex, looks are the main basis for market value. The pretty ones get the lion’s share. So what about those who were not blessed with the pretty gene? Do they just lag behind, contenting themselves with scavenging from the leftovers of the ones on top?

No. If there’s a will, there’s a way, and the willful sub-average-looking has his own ways of upping his market value.



10. The Compliment Fountain

He gives everyone an ego boost and is the one people turn to when they’re going through moments of weakness.


9. The Researcher

He takes time to research on his target’s interests. When the opportunity comes, he will then impress his target with his extensive knowledge in his target’s field, political opinions, favourite TV shows, etc.


8. The Rich Guy

He brings out his laptop, iPad, iPhone and whatever else he managed to fit into his bag. He will also complain about how his bills last month exceeded his usual twenty-thousand-peso limit, and that he will have to stop going out for three days to make up for it.


7. The Sponsor

If his gadgets and stories were not enough to impress his guy, then dinner and drinks are on him. The guy can go ahead and order anything he wants, Mr Spender won’t even look at the bill.


6. The Smart Achiever

He keeps reminding you that he graduated from a big university and that he’s an important person at work. His sentences usually start with “Back in UP…” or “As a boss…” He will give you tips on how to succeed in life like he did. He will also try to English you to death.


5. The Casanova

He tells stories of how he had a power-bottom ex who is now an upcoming indie-film superstar, how he turned down a Filipino-Chinese suitor who is a part-time model, and how he still gets creeped-out by this guy with abs who keeps on stalking him..


4. The Photogenic

He has mastered his angles and posts his best-looking pictures in PR. He also lives in a land far-far-away, which is why his visitors are easily compelled to get off with him rather than completely waste the time burned in travel.


3. The Beautiful By Association

He surrounds himself with beautiful people. Sometimes, he also appoints himself as the clique’s gatekeeper so that anyone who wants access will have to go through him.  


2. The Top-Turned-Bottom

He used to be a top but decided to turn bottom because “andaming gwapong top”.


1. The Simply Confident Guy

He is well aware that he doesn’t fit in most people’s definition of “attractive” but he also knows that it doesn’t make him worth any less. He will even tell the beautiful guys to leave if they will only waste his time. He doesn’t use any tricks but, ironically, he is the one who always gets what he wants.

6 comments:

  1. So the inevitable question is: Where do you belong to Nishi?

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  2. this post made me smile. :D

    definitely, i am number 1!

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  3. i think i should slut around more when I get back to Manila if no.2 is a fact LOL

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  4. I dunno where will I categorize myself LOL.

    Nice post Nishi! Let's Malars again soon. :)

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  5. Nice. I'm having a hard time categorizing myself though. In-denial? Haha. XD

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  6. LOL i kinda feel number 1 ako. ahaha.

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