Next time, don't

"I’m thinking of having myself tested," I said as I was staring at my half-finished pizza slice.

"Tested?" he asked before taking a bite from the slice he was holding.

"For HIV," I answered.

He fell silent. I looked at him. He had stopped chewing and was staring at me with a slightly shocked expression.

"Why?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Nothing, I just want to be sure," I shrugged as I looked out through the glass wall of the restaurant. "And, well, I found out that a guy I had sex with once was just recently diagnosed positive," I added.

"What?" he asked in a panicked voice.

"Don’t worry," I said as I turned back at him. "The sex happened a long time ago."

"When?"

I paused. "June, last year."

"Didn’t you get tested last year? When was that?"

"August. I was negative."

"How long is the incubation period?" he asked. His voice was starting to sound more and more agitated.

"I think it’s six months. That’s why I want to take the test again. Just to be sure," I repeated.

I waited for him to say something but he didn’t. He was looking down at the table, still looking shocked and worried.

"Don’t worry-"

"Will you stop telling me not to worry?!" he shot. "I’m practically half a virgin and right now, you’re telling me that I could have HIV from this monogamous relationship!"

I was stunned. I just looked at him for a few seconds while he buried his face in his hands. Then I started to get agitated myself.

"You know, you never had yourself tested. That means I’m actually more in danger from you than you are from me," I shot back.

"I’m not promiscuous. I only ever had sex with a few people and I’m sure that they were all clean," he said, rolling his eyes.

Then he looked me in the eye and continued, "I don’t have sex with random people I meet in restrooms or cinemas."

I was taken aback, not at all expecting to hear that. Many thoughts ran through my head and it took me a while to control them.

"You can’t throw that at me," I said firmly. "I already had myself tested for that and I’ve since stopped doing it. You know that."

He didn’t say anything. After a while, he muttered, "I’m sorry. Just, next time you feel the need to get tested, keep it to yourself. Just tell me the result afterwards."

I didn’t say anything. We were both quiet for a few minutes. I finished my pizza without looking at him.

"This is already too awkward," I said finally. "I don’t think you should still come to my place tonight. I think you should just go home."

"Come on, let’s just go home together. We don’t have to fight."

"No, I mean it," I said, looking him in the eye. "I don’t feel comfortable spending the rest of the night with you anymore. Go. I’ll stay here for a while."

He didn’t move.

"Do you want me to leave instead?"

He didn’t say anything. After a few seconds, he stood up, picked up his bag and left.