To Those Who Saw Me In Obar

To whom it may concern:

Let me begin by saying that I was not quite myself when I was in Obar last Sunday.

First, I think it should be pointed out that I had seven bottles of beer that night. That's not a lot for most drinkers, myself included actually, but I had three different brands. I'm pretty sure that's what messed me up. Yes, I'm really sure.

At the start, I was at the back of the club. If you saw me trying to undress the twinky guy standing beside me, then I think you should know that he's just a really good friend. He was complaining that it was too hot inside, so I was trying to do him a favor. It may have looked like I was forcing him, but no, I wasn't. If you looked closely, you would have seen that he was smiling, even when I touched his man-boobs while his head and arms were stuck in his shirt. We were both smiling.

An hour after my friend and I came in, a daddy-looking guy joined us. That was another friend who is actually only twenty-seven. We dated a couple of months ago for five days but it didn't work out. It was a good breakup and no one was bitter even though it was his entire fault. He was there that night in Obar because I invited him, because that's what mature ex-dates do.

A couple of hours later, when I was already on my fifth beer, we transferred to a table near the front door, which was partly occupied by a BBM friend and his friends. After a while, right after my friend introduced me to his friends and I forgot their names, I started singing along to the music at the top of my lungs. That was a bit unsightly, I admit, but I blame it all on Adele. She was clawing at my wounds and that was me screaming in agony.

By the time the last performance of the night had ended, everyone was already drenched in good vibes, myself included. How could we not be when it’s Christmas? We had to spread the joy. I found myself talking to my friend's friends. Then I was talking to the other guys in our table, then the guys on the next table, then to every guy that passed by our group. The mood was just so infectious.

Rocky and Toby, if you're reading this, I want you guys to know that it was a pleasure meeting you, and also that I was already finishing my sixth beer when I came up and introduced myself to you. I think I may have been a bit annoying, asking you over and over if I was already embarassing myself, but it was only because I kept forgetting your answer, which was also the reason why I kept asking your friend his name. We should get together again next time, when I'm still sober, and we can talk fondly about that night. Perhaps that will remind me of the fuzzy parts that my friends won't tell me about.

There was actually one detail that I almost forgot - that I slapped daddy-looking-guy many times. It was all just good fun, of course. Luckily, I remembered it the next day because one of my fingers was swollen. That means my hand hit a hard part in his face, probably his cheekbone. Congratulations, daddy-looking-guy, looks like you've lost weight.

I remember kissing a guy that night. If you happen to be that guy, please don’t be mad if I don’t recognize you when we next bump into each other. The kiss happened when my eyes were already failing me. I couldn't even type on my phone properly anymore. When I checked the last text I sent that night, it said "Ymuwivnqko" which, I'm guessing, was supposed to read "Umuwi nako". I do remember, though, that you were a good kisser. Next time you spot me lurking in the shadows of Obar, just pull me in and kiss me, and I might just remember.

I took the same cab home as BBM guy because we were practically neighbors. I thought I was already too drunk to do anything, but I rose through the challenge. I had enough sense left to tell the cab driver where I lived. And unlike many of my friends who told me they already threw up inside a cab, I still had the sense to tell the driver to pull over so I can throw up on the sidewalk. I don't remember paying, though, so I guess I owe BBM guy some money.

Having said that, I'd like to tell anyone who saw me in Obar or on the sidewalk that I'm really not usually like that. I’m usually a very collected person, the typical shy-type. Nevertheless, I'm going to take a break from going there - no, wait, from drinking altogether. I’ve had enough for the time being and don't plan to go anywhere near liquor until Thursday. Ah yes, that's tomorrow.


Sincerely,

Nishiboy