will you remember me...
...as the blogger who opened up his heart and poured out his rawest emotions or as the blogger who just didn’t know when to stop?
...as the amazing online avatar you admired so much or as the weak and flawed person he turned out to be?
...as a guy who gave you a chance or as a guy who led you on?
...as your best friend who always stayed at your side or as the jerk who was only there to take advantage of your kindess?
...as your cousin who was intelligent enough to get into good schools or as the stupid cousin who took six years to graduate from college?
...as the teammate who still did his best to perform even when his life was falling to pieces or as the teammate who allowed his personal life to interfere with his work?
...as the guy who tried to understand the things that you loved or as the guy who just didn’t get any of them?
...as someone who took the risk to date you or as someone who didn’t risk enough to be yours?
...as the boy you shared your best years with or as the boy you wasted your best years on?
...as the brightest boy in the family or as the son who still fell short of your expectations?
I always thought that people will remember only good things about you after you die, but the unexpected death of a cousin proved me wrong. There were a few mentions of how she was a good person and how she will be terribly missed, but most of the people in the family gave more weight on how her life was a waste. Sure, she made plenty of bad choices and her life fell apart. I’m not saying that we should just overlook that part. I just wish they could also look back on how she did her best to pick up the pieces and put everything back together. She did her very best. It’s heartbreaking that it was that part that they chose to leave in the back of their minds.
I wish people would give more credit to effort. And that they remember us for the good people we tried to be, even if we didn’t quite make it.