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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

[Repost] Top 10: Disgrace To My Stereotype

[Reposting from my old blog.]


There are certain things people expect from you when you're gay. Of course, we're not required to follow the labels. But sometimes, it gets a bit frustrating for me when I try to do things that should come naturally for gays and yet seem so hard for me.



Top Ten Reasons Why I'm a Disgrace to My Stereotype


10.
I can't sing well in falsetto. My gay friends would always belt out Regine Velasquez, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs when we sing in videoke. I tried it a few times and it didn't sound good. And dammit, it hurt.


9.
I look awkward when I dance in clubs. My "dance" involves raising my arms and flailing them around while trying to shake my hips. A girl friend told me that I looked like a sleazy dude when I danced. My ex told me I looked like a monkey.


8.
I don't know how to use make-up. Heck, I don't even know how to powder my face. I always ask someone else to put them on me.


7.
I am always late when it comes to gossip, be that celebrity gossip or real-life. This was what made one of my friends actually tell me that I was disgrace to my stereotype. I was shocked when they told me that two of our batchmates were already together. Apparently, they had been together for a couple of years already.


6.
I don't dress well. You'll almost always see me wearing a shirt, jeans and dilapidated shoes.


5.
In relation to #6, I don't enjoy watching fashion TV or reading fashion magazines. I am just absolutely clueless when it comes to fashion. I watched "Launch My Line" once, and the clothes I thought looked good were bashed by the judges.


4.
I'm a slob. My room has clothes strewn across the floor. There are coins and empty cigarette packs in every corner. When I finish eating junk food, I just put down the wrapper and leave it there until I decide to clean up, which usually happens once every week. And I sleep on the floor.


3.
I am no good at giving blow jobs. I tire after ten bobs. My jaws start to hurt after two minutes. Um.. Yeah.


2.
I feel really uncomfortable using gay speak. I use "friend", "teh" and "kebs" and I just recently started to use "chos", but full-blown gay speak (example from badinggerzie: Witchelles naman akey nalurkey nang bonggang-bongga) is beyond me. I try, but it is always badly-delivered.


1.
I don't have gaydar. A person will have to tell me outright that he or she is gay. Otherwise, I won't have a clue. Yeah, even our trans friends. I always mistake them for biological females.

25 comments:

  1. You are not alone! I don't gay talk, I have no fashion sense, I dress sloppy! I can relate to number 4 a lot, as in a lot. I rarely clean my condo unit, my clothes are all over the floor, spare change and cigarette packs are everywhere, but I don;t sleep opn the bed. Coz I have a big and comfortable bed. Hehehe... I am late at gossip because all I wanted to talk about are animes, world news or local crimes, or business news, music and the latest bands, and of course photography. I can dance 'though, specially when I'm tipsy.

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  2. Oh by the way, my straight friends (who are all homphobic at some point) call me "the anti-gay gay man". I am just not into the entire gay thing, really. I'm a guy, who likes guys, therefore I'm gay... It's that simple.

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  3. Natawa naman ako sa 9. May karamay ka na Nishiboy. hahahaha.

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  4. You should be proud. Hahaha!

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  5. kulang ka lang sa immersion :)

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  6. HAHAHA!

    I so can see my self in you!

    I do not know pero mas prefer ko mag act like a man than a gay guy should be.

    Anyway, ganoon talaga. We never have it all.

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  7. i wanna see those moves Jap. c'mon!

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  8. Hmm.

    1 - I have gaydar, but it's not perfect.
    2 - Same here. "Bonggang bongga" lang yata ang kaya kong sabihin without blushing.
    4 - You should see my room. :)
    6 - I'm a comfort over fashion kind of guy.
    7 - Hit or miss. Sometimes, I'm in the know. Sometimes, I'm the last to know.
    8 - Umm, no make-up for me please. Thanks.

    Goes to show how diverse we all are, even though we all like the same thing(s). ;) Nice post.

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  9. I can relate to #3. Like totally.

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  10. Naaalala ko 'tong post na to. Ahihi

    Ung number 3... Ganun pa din ba? LOL

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  11. i have a strong gaydar.

    can understand and speak gay language (sometimes you just have to read between the lines for you to understand)

    so pedantic

    since the born of twitter, am now gossip inclined.

    very tamad with blow jobs.

    not really into MC and RV.

    so - i think im just sophisticated. :D

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  12. Our universal symbol is a rainbow after all. :)

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  13. There's room enough in this world for a near-infinite number of variations of what gay people can be versus what people think they should be. Never feel you need to follow one stereotype or another.

    Looking at your list, I'm pretty sure I have the same "issues" except for items 1, 3 and 4. My gaydar is decent but definitely not perfect, I'm a tad OCD so I generally keep clean and I'm pretty darned proud of my blowjobs, hahaha!

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  14. Nice post. haha natawa ako sa 9. Baka naman you're trying to immitate shakira in her "waka waka" music video. Di kaya? hehe.

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  15. Baka hindi ka gay, baka you're just confused nyahehehehe

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  16. ahahaha! sobrang nakaka relate ako lalo na dun sa gay lingo and sa rum.. haha!

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  17. uhmmm... maybe nishi you should think over if you're really a gay.. haha baka hindi naman!! pero charrr lang!! hahahahaha

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  18. keri na teh! di ka nag-iisa. haha :P

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  19. can somebody teach Nishi some mind-blowing blowjobs? CHOZ!

    But Nishi, as what your readers and commenters say, you are not alone. Someone can always blow job for you. ;-)

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  20. o nga @nimmy. since it's a repost, ano dito ang non-existent na? :)

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  21. haha. good question. hmm...

    10.
    kumakanta na ako in falsetto. haha. pero bihira lang. at pangit pa din pakinggan.


    9.
    my dance moves are still the same. but i don't care anymore. haha.


    8.
    still don't know how to use make up. i don't think this will ever change.


    7.
    still the last one to know about gossip.


    6.
    naglolong-sleeves na ako ngayon! haha.


    5.
    but yeah, i'm still clueless about fashion.


    4.
    still a slob. haha. but our room is a lot tidier now. we paid someone to clean it. =D


    3.
    BAH. still no good at giving blow jobs. haha.


    2.
    my gay lingo vocab now has more words in it. =D


    1.
    still don't have gaydar.

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  22. wala akong masabi. haha. Nice post! [closet king] LOL :D

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