Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I am twenty-five years old and I’ve recently been going through a “phase”. It’s the one where you feel like your life has been going on circles. I don’t know which way to go. I heard that this is called the “quarter-life crisis” or something. Assuming that I’ll live to be a hundred, I’m right on schedule.

The past several weeks have not been very pretty for me. I spent almost every night out drinking or cruising. Then I woke up the next afternoon with a nasty hangover. Sometimes, I still went to work for the rest of the day but most of the time I just went back to sleep.

I’m not really sure if I still like my job. I took it because I was already bored with my previous job but today, five months later, it’s already starting to bore me too. It’s stupid because I used to complain in my previous job that I did too little coding for a programmer. Now I’m bored because I do nothing but code.

Motivation is the key, I know. I have to find a reason to love my job so that I’ll put my best into it. That’s why I sometimes envy those guys who have families to feed or parents to impress. They have their motivation thrust so close to their faces that they never lose sight of it. For me, on the other hand, motivation has always depended on the fun I derive from what I do. Unfortunately, “fun” and “work” are more flings than lifelong partners.

Someone told me that she thinks this phase doesn’t just happen once, but rather comes in waves. Looking back on my past year, I think I have to agree with her. It did happen in waves, I just didn’t realize it. I was not prepared for them and my life got washed away every time.

I have to be ready. I’ve been pushing my luck too far already. Heck, it’s a wonder my boss didn’t fire me. I should take this opportunity to really clean up my act. Not going to work so that I could play Kingdom Hearts in the morning and go partying in the evening is not the way to get out of this circle.

I’m going old-school on it this time. I’m going to work for the money and the experience points. I still have no idea where I want to go from here, my life is still going on circles, but it’s okay. I’ll keep an eye out for all the possible exits so until I find the one I’m looking for. At least, when that happens, I’ll have enough resources to go for it.

Good enough for a motivation.


  1. You just solved your problem. :) Good for you!

    1. not solved yet, but getting there. thanks!

  2. A lot, no not just a lot, tons of people are looking for a job inorder to feed themselves,

    remember that your job is a great opportunity for you, that you are blessed enough to be hired and be paid,

    smile, be thankful of what you have :)

    1. yeah, time to start working with what i have. =)

  3. We always come to that point in our lives. We just have to handle the situation accordingly. Never be suaded by external forces, but always welcome them with open arms. We always experience this phase in our lives. We learn from them, so sit down, breathe fresh air, relax.

  4. Kaibigan Jason, I feel you. *yakap mahigpit then sabay bigay ng beer*

    I was at this point more than a year ago; I quit my job! harhar! coz, like you said, i also didn't have a family to feed or parents to impress. madali akong magsawa.

    I planned, saved enough money, travelled and did what made me happy.
    Now my savings is depleted and currently looking for a job! (which kinda hard at the moment).

    We love you Jason and there are people here who can relate and can listen to you.

  5. I feel yah brotha. I also lack the motivation that people with families have. that's why I resigned from my work last year. but now, i am getting my life back on track and pursuing higher studies.

    try out things. you neve know. you might stumble on something that you love to do and would want to do for the rest of your life.

  6. Sounds like you really need to spend some time to sit down and map out your longer term goals. Even without a family or people to support, there are plenty of reasons to chart out the next few years.

    You might want to start with smaller, more incremental goals for short term rewards like saving up enough money for a new gadget, luxury item or trip. Or you can go longer term and consider getting a car, actually owning property or maybe just caring for a large pet that requires a lot of food. Or better yet, think about what you REALLY want to do as an alternate career like setting up your own business or something like that. I'm just throwing out ideas here.

    I've never bought into the whole "quarter-life crisis" concept since anything below 40 feels like insufficient life experience to truly understand what a "crisis" means, at least for most people. Work is work - it's a sacrifice we make to earn enough money to achieve our larger dreams.

  7. A friend once told me that if I keep noticing patterns/cycles then I may need a hard reset. What's something you would never ever ever ever do. Do it. haha

  8. I would be interested to discover what kinds of things that you code. Honestly, this kind of technical work is fascinating to me.

  9. I think you've heard enough of people telling you what to do, or how to approach the situation, or offering unsolicited life-coaching advise. I am not here to do that. But what I do find helpful, though, whenever things seem too underwhelming and rote, or overwhelming and exhaustive, is dialogue. Talk to a friend, someone who can offer a different perspective, and alternate pace, or just someone you can volley ideas with. At the end of the day, even if the conversation did not offer concrete solutions or a specific improvement strategem, just hanging out with a friend gives that jolt of excitement enough to put things in perspective, and hopefully get your ball, or juices, rolling.

    I would, however, lay off the alcohol a bit. Inebriation is not exactly an elixir for epiphanies. (Magastos din, hehe.)

    Cheer up! :)

  10. motivation is a problem for me, too. am not really competitive. I know I can always do better but I'm contented with "just enough". If I ever learn to love my work that would solve a lot of problems and get rid of a lot of stress.